Friday, February 11, 2011

What do women REALLY want?

A link to a post on WKYC came up on my Twitter feed asking: What do women really want for Valentine's Day? I got to thinking.

What, exactly, is this question asking? While I'm at it, what is it not asking? The question is very broad and the answers WYKC featured left me feeling disappointed. Adding "really" implies that the answers will be atypical, and to be fair there were a few answers that went a little beyond chocolate, flowers, and stuffed animals, but all in all, there was not much to be moved by. In my opinion, the last woman had the most unique answer out of those presented.

I thought some more. What is this question really asking? It implies that women want something different than men, that there is something inherently different about what we do (should?) want, that the sexes are somehow driven by different needs and wants. It implies that what men want on this day is unimportant, because surely men don't care about romance or, Heaven forbid, emotions and feelings because those are icky and not manly. It is asking what women want because it assumes that women expect something in the first place.

What is it not asking? It is not asking what men want. Does that then mean that men do not (should not?) want something too? Surely men would never care about love and affection, because that means they lose Man Points, and we all know the sky would fall and the Earth would split in half if a male were to lose Man Points.

Maybe some would think my annoyance is frivolous, but I don't care. I am annoyed because I am sick of people assuming every single woman cares about chocolates and flowers and pink hearts on Valentine's Day, and that every single woman expects something in the first place, because women are obsessed with Feelings and Emotions and Romantic Love. Not only that, but that we want Romantic Love from a heterosexual, cis-gendered Man with many Man Points.

I am annoyed because it assumes a man is clueless about what to give a woman to show affection. I am annoyed because it neglects same-sex couples by the nature of its question due to the unsaid "What we mean is, what should a straight cis-man buy a straight cis-woman for Valentine's Day?" Should a male-male couple not worry at all about this? Should a female-female couple worry too? What about the gender queers? Transexuals? Polyamorous? Asexuals? Aromantics? Single people?

I am annoyed because it implies women do all the expecting and wanting, and therefore are not burdened with buying anything for a man because men don't want anything on Valentine's Day because the fate of the entire universe rests on their vast collection of Man Points.

Why do they care what women "really" want on Valentine's Day? Because I assure you, men are not inherently unable to grasp romance, and that failure to grasp is not limited to their sex or gender either. Anyone is capable of this, and it's perfectly acceptable not to care about romance, or to understand it, and it's okay not to want it. It doesn't matter what your sex or gender is. Plus, if you're going to ask what "women really want" then you better provide answers that aren't the usual ones.

A better question would be: What do you want for Valentine's Day?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Orgasm Inc.

Orgasm Inc. has been getting a lot of buzz. It is a documentary that gets to the truth about a lot of myths regarding "female sexual dysfunction" and the drugs and tools that pharmaceutical companies create for problems that may not be real problems at all. Although there are real medical conditions both men and women face in regards to sexuality, these pharmaceutical companies are creating drugs to cure problems that have no actual medical backing.

I suggest that men watch this as well, not just women. Watch the trailer. Check if there are screenings in your area.

Feministing has a great article about the film here.

It is so incredibly disheartening that sex education fails to give women real knowledge about their bodies and sex. There is nothing wrong about not being able to orgasm from only vaginal penetration. Most women need clitoral stimulation too! This is normal.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Ohio's "Heartbeat" Bill

Via AlterNet:
Any one of the three bills would be a devastating blow to reproductive health access for women in Ohio. But of the three, it is the “Heartbeat” bill that truly has the potential to change the landscape of anti-choice legislation if it passes. The bill manages to almost completely outlaw abortion in a way we have only seen before in “Personhood” amendments--such as the one that was solidly rejected twice by the voters in Colorado. 
By establishing heartbeat as the criteria for banning abortion, the bill effectively rejects abortion from any point after roughly four weeks post conception, a time in which fetal heartbeat can be seen via high quality ultrasound machine. For most women, that would provide a window of two weeks or less in order to learn she was pregnant, make her decision about the pregnancy, arrange for an appointment, gather money for an abortion, obtain the mandatory counseling and sit through the required 24 hour waiting period. For a woman with irregular menstrual cycles, by the time she realizes she is pregnant it likely would already be too late to do anything but continue the pregnancy.
There are two other bills as well; however, the "Heartbeat" bill, as stated above in the quote from AlterNet, is the most severe. If a woman does not discover she is pregnant until after that four week window, her choice is essentially taken away from her as far as the law is concerned.

This is my blog

If the title of this blog didn't give it away already, I am a woman who lives in the Buckeye State. Ohio has always been my home, and while I crave warm weather year-round, I don't know if I could ever leave this state.

My politics are liberal, but I am an Independent. I care about feminism, LGBTQQIA issues, social justice, and equality among many other issues. I'm also a nerd, love to read and write, especially things related to fantasy and the paranormal.

I'll blog mainly about feminist issues and Ohio goings-on, but will post about other things as well, such as global issues, hobbies, etc..